Couples therapy for heterosexual couples

Couples therapy: Typical signs of a relationship crisis

The signs that a couple’s relationship is in crisis are many and varied and do not all have to occur at once. To the typical signs belong however:

• lack of a sense of community
• only few or no more joint activities
• own needs remain within the relationship are neglected
• one or both partners cheat
• there are more and more disputes with the partner, for example in questions of bringing up children, finances or housekeeping
• the common sexuality suffers (through stress, conflicts or unwillingness of the partner(s))
• There is a desire for children which is not shared by the other partner or which causes discomfort in a homosexual partnership
• Trust in the partner is dwindlingConflicts with the partner impair the quality of life

• If one or more of the above points are present in your relationship, sooner or later relationship problems may arise. In the worst case, this can lead to a separation. In order to resolve these problems and to help you regain a fulfilled and happy partnership, we offer you professional couple therapy at our locations in Cologne Südstadt and Cologne-Dellbrück.

Couples counseling: Goals

Professional couple counseling sets a process in motion in which two partners gain a deeper understanding of how conflicts arise and how to deal with them.

Your new relationship as a couple will benefit from the fact that

• Get to know your own relationship pattern of your life story
• learn more about yourself and your personality
• understand the behaviour of your partner
• Breaking deadlocked communication patterns
• become aware of your own wishes – and learn to address them
• perceive the wishes of your partner again
• learn to adequately express disappointments, fears and anger
• identify inappropriate expectations of your partnership
• dispel misunderstandings and prejudices

Procedure and questions about couple therapy

The therapy takes place with one of our experienced couple therapists. The goal is to initiate a positive process that makes it clear to both partners why conflicts arise between them and how they can be dealt with in a positive way, so that a loving relationship is possible again.

A couple therapy wants to give you and your partner knowledge about different aspects, for example:

• Fixed communication patterns and how to break them in order to avoid misunderstandings and arguments
• Your own personality and that of your partner and how it affects their behavior
• Your mutual needs in the relationship and how you can respond to them

A couple therapy consists of three phases: Initial consultation, therapy and evaluation.

Depending on the couple’s problem, the total duration varies, but as a guideline we recommend about 5-10 sessions.

In the first session the couple and the couple therapist get to know each other and give a first impression of the problems at hand. Thereupon the partners develop common goals with the therapist, which are to be achieved during the therapy.

During the actual therapy, the couple meets regularly for sessions with the therapist. Now the focus is on examining the couple’s behavior and reactions and solving acute conflicts.

As soon as the couple and the therapist consider the goals to have been achieved, the couple therapy can be slowly scaled back (to monthly meetings, for example) or stopped altogether. This is often the point at which valuable insights and the course of therapy are reflected upon.

What to do if a partner is critical of the therapy?

It is not uncommon for one of the partners to reject a therapy or see no need for it. In this case, do not hesitate to come to us alone in the first instance, because this way you can already present your point of view to the couple therapist!

However, since the cooperation and collaboration of both partners is important for a long-term successful therapy, your partner is advised to come at least once as a relative for a completely non-binding conversation.

In a dialogue with the therapist, the reasons for the rejection of the therapy can then be carefully addressed – for example, fear of accusations or escalating arguments. In this way it is possible to reduce existing reservations and to take away fears and create a good basis for successful couple counselling!

Find your way out of the relationship crisis – through a couple therapy in Cologne!

Use a professional couple counselling service in Cologne for the development of your partnership. Go strengthened into a happier future.