Couples Therapy & Marriage Counseling

Couples therapy consists of three phases: initial consultation, therapy, and evaluation.

Depending on the couple’s issues, the duration of therapy varies; as a guideline, approximately 5–10 sessions are typical.

During the initial consultation, the couple and the therapist get to know each other and gain a first understanding of the issues at hand. Together, the partners and therapist define shared goals to be achieved during therapy. Once these goals are considered met, couples therapy can be gradually reduced (for example, to monthly sessions) or concluded entirely. At this stage, it is common to reflect on the insights gained and the overall course of the therapy.

During the actual couples therapy, the couple meets at regular intervals for sessions with the therapist. The focus is now on examining the couple’s behavior and reactions and resolving acute conflicts.

Once the couple and the therapist consider the goals to be achieved, the couples therapy can gradually be scaled back (for example, to monthly meetings) or ended entirely. Often at this point, valuable insights and the course of the couples therapy or marriage counseling are reflected upon.

When starting couples therapy, make sure you choose a competent couples therapist: your therapist should be willing to talk transparently about therapy methods. You both need to feel comfortable and feel that they are loyal to you as a couple. In couples therapy in Cologne, both parties should always be able to communicate openly with each other.

One of the partners wants the therapist to agree with him or her and to stop the partner’s undesirable behavior. This represents an expectation that the couples counselor cannot fulfill. Both parties learn acceptance. This is an important process, because people are less willing to change the more pressure is put on them. Defiance and rejection will decrease and better communication will develop. The role of the therapist in couples therapy in Cologne includes being neutral, thinking in an all-partisan way and also acting accordingly. He or she must empathize with both partners and their boundaries.

Friends can be good conversational partners. However, in order to help effectively and in a solution-oriented way during a relationship crisis, they lack distance and neutrality. The help provided by the knowledge and experience of an expert in couples therapy with many years of experience is invaluable. Speak as openly as possible about your relationship. Your couples counselor will help in a loyal and objective way to communicate your needs while being honest with yourself and your partner.

With many years of experience, we can say that almost always one partner is skeptical and not enthusiastic about the prospect of couples therapy. Often, unpleasant feelings such as fear or shame are the reason for skepticism. Many people are afraid of accusations, blame, or uncomfortable situations. If your partner feels this way, come to us alone at first. At a later point, simply ask your partner to accompany you once. This way, a gentle introduction to couples therapy can take place. Reservations can be discussed and usually resolved in the context of couples counseling. Many couples have started their path to couples therapy in exactly this way.

Couples therapy can provide food for thought. However, it is not solely decisive for the success of the relationship. As a couple, you are responsible for that. The couples therapist offers help in uncovering problems. He or she can resolve disturbances, develop insights, provide food for thought, and encourage the couple to make changes. Putting these into practice is the couple’s task.

Yes, we offer a free initial consultation. This is an opportunity to discuss your concerns, clarify any open questions, and work together to determine how we can best support you. Click here to schedule an appointment directly.

It is important that you feel well cared for by your therapist. In the first session, you can find out whether the chemistry is right and whether the therapeutic approach suits your needs.

You can easily make an appointment by phone or using the contact form on our website. We are happy to advise you!

During couples therapy at our practice in Cologne, sexual issues can also be addressed. This applies to both individuals and couples. Lack of desire, unfulfilled desire to have children in a relationship, affairs, erectile dysfunction, support during coming out, and sexual self-fulfillment are important topics in sexual counseling.

We will decide together how long couples therapy support is necessary for the development of your relationship. After one or two sessions, it will become clear whether couples therapy at the MVZ für Psychotherapie Köln is the right path for you. After around five sessions, it will be apparent whether the insights and strategies you have gained can be applied in the future without ongoing support. The duration depends on your concerns and your unique relationship history. Conflicts that seem simple may actually stem from unspoken, unconscious misunderstandings, suppressed needs, or unmet desires. With couples therapy at our Cologne practice, you will be guided toward exploring, processing, and resolving these issues.

Yes – with the help of couples therapy, a partner can be encouraged to change. For example, restructuring fears can help to overcome jealousy. Giving the other person more space creates a feeling of freedom and creates situations that strengthen mutual trust. Practical advice is part of our philosophy of couples therapy at the MVZ for Psychotherapy in Cologne.

In everyday family life, personal needs often take a back seat. However, couples counseling does not require as much time as you might think. Simply by asking yourself the question, you are already aware of how much more time and energy it takes to live permanently in an unsatisfying relationship. Exhausting arguments drain energy and strength.

Many couples have limited time. We can offer flexible time slots for couples therapy sessions. These can take place, for example, in the late evening or on weekends. Consider an intensive weekend for couples. Take time for yourselves as a couple – take a break. Focus on yourself and your partner. You may gain surprisingly new perspectives on your relationship, yourself, and your partner.

The goal of couples therapy in Cologne can be to find a solution to this dilemma. What potential still exists in your relationship? Which desires may never be fulfilled? Possible paths toward each other can be uncovered that you as a couple have not yet discovered. Make an informed decision about whether working on the relationship still makes sense or whether going separate ways is the best solution. In the latter case, you can receive support through separation counseling.

Even in a long-distance relationship or when living separately, couples therapy can help. We offer online sessions to provide support regardless of your location.

Many of our clients feel a positive change after the first session. Together, we create a space in which your individual issues are addressed in a targeted manner so that you can quickly experience initial success.

The systemic approach in couples therapy views problems as role definitions created by the couple – not as a deficit of one or both partners. The entire system in which the couple operates is considered. There are different realities – not just one “correct” reality. The different perspectives and patterns that each person accumulates through life experiences and brings into every relationship are central. Systemic couples therapy is more solution-oriented than problem-oriented. The goals of couples therapy in Cologne are set by the clients at the beginning of treatment. During the course of therapy, these goals can change and be renegotiated repeatedly.

Strengthening the autonomy and self-worth of both partners, improving communication, and changing dysfunctional relationship patterns are the clear objectives of couples therapy at Paarberatung Cologne.